Thinking

I did not go home after my doc appointment. I just stayed on the bus when the driver flipped the sign after pulling into the bus station downtown and rode on out to the mall, then wandered around from one end to the other. I lingered in the book store, then wandered down to the food court for a frozen latte, rested for a bit and then went to the cosmetic counter at Macy’s to see what Elizabeth Arden had on sale. Sometimes their freebies are really good, like free makeup if you buy a perfume gift set. This year, the freebie is really nice tote bag that will make a nice gift in and of itself for someone who like big, roomy purses in bright red vinyl or faux leather I suppose, with a silky leopard print interior. (My daughter saw it and suggested “me, me me me” but I told her that I was thinking about giving it to one of my sisters, but yeah… we just won’t tell her. Yeah, she does not read this blog.) I wanted to get her a nice perfume, not too strong, something nice for “everyday” because she does not splurge on things like that for herself, almost every dime she gets goes for keeping her boat afloat and anything extra gets spent on her children. I think she’ll like the new scent called Pretty. I ended up just missing the bus home, so I ordered a sandwich at Subway and chatted with some ladies who were waiting on the Boardman Loop, then I caught the last South Avenue bus heading back downtown. So my little trip to the doctor’s office ending up taking me about six hours. Odds are that I won’t be able to walk tomorrow as I’m hobbling now, but I just wanted to walk and think.

Doc apparently forgot about asking me to find out when my last colonoscopy was as he never brought it up. The results of my blood work came back and he wasn’t too thrilled with some of the numbers. He wants to run some more tests and, depending on those results, maybe a sonogram of my liver. He also wants me back in two weeks (three, since there wasn’t an open time slot in two weeks) for a “well woman exam” or in other words, a damn pap smear. I told him that I don’t need one because I don’t have female parts in there and he says that is precisely why I do, but geez… it has been TWENTY years since I had that complete hysterectomy. If they missed any cancer cells back then, I think I would be dead by now.

He’s a young one, doubt if he’s forty yet. I don’t think he’d quite understand me if I echo the words of The Ever Cheerful Nurse Kitty: “everyone’s got to die from something.” He might see it as suicidal idealization and it is not… it’s just the truth, a fact of life, no one gets out of this world alive. I’m not delusional. I know that I’m not going to see seventy, but if the good Lord wants to surprise me with a few bonus years, that is fine. I’m just going to roll with what comes.

Oh well… thank you for viewing my art! I’m looking forward to tomorrow… absolutely no plans, I can wander blogs, curl up and read a book, just relax and enjoy a quiet, peaceful day.

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6 Responses

  1. Is that your “thinking cap?”

  2. You need a day to just relax, Nancy. What you’re going through isn’t fun for sure. But you have such a great attitude about it. I wish more people did too.

    Love this art work. And it looks so peaceful too. Hope you’re feeling okay today!

    • Oh, I took more than a day… read a great novel cover to cover, took afternoon naps, and wrote a letter to an old friend. Exactly what I needed. Thanks!

  3. At least you are going to see the Doc, I have been putting it off. At the time when I should be calling to make an appointment, I seem to find anything else to occupy my mind, and it just slips on by. I should follow your lead and “just do it!” Kind of nice that he didn’t seem overly concerned about those records. Hope he isn’t the absent minded professor type of Doc.

    Wow, you read a whole novel in a couple days? It has been a while since any book held my attention that firmly. Sounds relaxing. Good for you!

    • Yeah, just do it. Oh, I don’t think he is absent minded as the colonoscopy is still on the list of things posted online, just seems more concerned about those liver counts. (Yes, modern office, “paperless” with limited access to your own medical records online… I was hoping he posted the bloodwork results so I could see what those numbers were, do a little online research, but nope… not posted.) He kind of irked me a little bit, too, made me feel a little chastized for choices I’ve made in years gone by, but that may just be my own pride. The book? “Dreaming in English” by Laura Fitzgerald. 😀

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