Trying to draw my way out of addiction, making this worse with each pencil stroke, and posting late, trying to beat the clock before it strikes twelve. I’ve become lax… posting near midnight instead of soon after. Thank you for viewing my art!
Yeah, it is much like I envisioned “King Nic o’ tine” Though I did not spell it that way in my song. I wrote it about 10 years ago when going through a brief attempt to quit. It went, “King Nicotine, you ain’t gonna be my king no more” and ended up calling it my “Hippocrite Song” because he won big time! I am so happy I made it finally. It is phenominal being this side of addiction! There are not quite the words to express. You go girl, be strong! You make it one month and I would like to send you a present. That is if you would allow. When did this begin? How many days do you have now?
He looks appropriately creepy and pained. Keep going, Nancy. Every second that you don’t smoke is a second that you don’t smoke. Each second buys you life and health. Is it hard? Of course it is. Is it worth doing? You betcha. Citipower did it. You can, too.
I think my overwhelming torture going on is the crash course nature of this 6 week program at the hospital, actually 4 weeks as I went twice before actually starting on Pearl Harbor Day. I’m using nicotine replacement products and doing the math, actually getting as much nicotine (if not more) than I did from smoking and still craving cigs something fierce and caving now and then as the psych hold is much stronger than the physical, and now there is only 2 weeks left and I just can’t see total freedom within two weeks. Even the back of the gum box suggest a 12 week scheduale. I’m not going to give up, but I may need to take a different approach. Thanks for the encouragement!
Probably the greatest of Norwegian painters and print makers, Edvard Munch was always an outsider, brooding and melancholy. Although treated for depression, Munch realized that his psychological problems were a catalyst for his art. “I would not cast off my illness,” he said, “for there is much in my art that I owe to it.”
“He who fights with monsters might take care
Lest he thereby become a monster.
And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
The abyss gazes also into you”.
Beyond Good and Evil, Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.
Nancy, I understand your battle – I too have ‘fought the good fight” and lost. Love yourself for who you are. Munch understood that a sacrifice has to be made. It is your choice. If your creativity depends on the nicotine demon, so be it. This is not a popular view point and scientific investigations are not on our side. I cannot create without tobacco. I have accepted this. Shamans of other cultures use Peyote and other plants to connect with the creative force. If your journey into art requires an ally, accept it. The ally is to be treated with respect. It is an aid to a required destination, but never abuse it. Drugs are holy. Be always completely aware of what you are doing. There may be a time when you no longer need the ally. Celebrate that time. Until then accept and honour what you need.
Nobody’s creativity depends on an addiction and to suggest it is to do a disservice to anyone struggling with one. Have there been artists who drank and used drugs? Surely. Have there been artists addicted to alcohol and drugs? Yes. Did drugs or alcohol ever enhance anyone’s creativity? This we will never know because we don’t have a control group: if you have used drugs and alcohol and are an artist you won’t know (and neither will anyone else) what you would have done or could have done without them.
Many artists spoke fondly of the inspiration of drugs and whiskey. Some of them killed themselves under the influence. People who are addicted to drugs and or alcohol nearly always extol their virtues, often while ruining their lives and their health.
One of the stereotypes we could profitably lose is that of the tortured artist. Many artists do suffer because they tend to be sensitive souls and our culture does not support art-making as a way to live. Fueling art with substances only adds to the suffering.
You can create without tobacco. Telling yourself the opposite is an excuse to keep using tobacco.
Let’s support Nancy in her efforts to quit, rather than undermine them.
Humm… I suppose this could be an interesting discussion, John, with Sharyn’s counterpoints, about drugs and creativity as well as the incidence of depression and other mental illnesses within the artistic community.
My problem with the nicotine is that I have long past the point of use and entered the realm of abuse, burning up $300/month on a habit I can ill afford. For me, tobacco is not a creativity enhancer, at least I don’t think it is… certainly not like other substances that elevate the senses. Thank you for sharing the tidbit of art history about Edvard Munch. I find it quite interesting as depression has been my nemesis for near forty years, occassionally revealing herself in the art and yet at times, art is the therapy.